Approval Addiction

You wake up and one of your children announces you are not winning parent of the year with that parenting technique.  You put on your outfit for work and your mate asks, “Are you wearing that today?” When you get to work your boss wants to know why you forgot to run a report?  A bad day.  By the end of the day the opinion of everyone else matters so much you wonder what on earth is wrong with you? 

bad day cartoons, bad day cartoon, bad day picture, bad day pictures, bad day image, bad day images, bad day illustration, bad day illustrations

What makes a bad day bad, and good day good for you?  Is the approval of others so important that the very thoughts about yourself hinges on how others examine your work, your life, your looks?  This starving for affirmation leaves us thirsty, and riding a roller coaster ride of emotion. 

Let’s paint another picture.  You wake up and your children adorn you with praise, your mate tells you how beautiful you look (while he is mopping the floor, just had to add that, that’s a good day), and your boss is so thrilled with your work she wants to give you a raise.  Everyone applauds at work as you leave her office, and you feel affirmed, approved…..This is a GREAT day!

All of us want some form of affirmation and desire to do well in our efforts.  No problem.  It becomes a problem when I define myself by what man thinks of me, says to me, views me. This approval addiction is recognized by the 12 Step Program as an addiction.  The same principles that alcoholics use to overcome alcohol, can be used for someone who is addicted to approval, and people pleasing.

Many causes of this addiction exist, such as trauma or abuse as a child, inborn traits and personality preferences, how you were raised, your culture.  God wants us to know Him in such a way that we examine our lives based on His love alone.  He speaks to our potential, and speaks promises into our lives!

For some of us awareness is enough and we can seek God, and a good friend to help us understand.  For others, a trusted Christian counselor is needed to work through the layers, and reframe our thoughts and patterns.  This bondage that chains us to false self-esteem and fickle humans is dangerous. 

Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Are you obsessed with what other people think about you?
  • Are you afraid to rock the boat?
  • Is it difficult for you to know what you want?
  • Do you find yourself saying yes when you desperately want to say ‘no’?
  • Do you feel guilty when someone does not approve of something you are doing?
  • Is it hard for you to express your feelings when they are different from someone you are close to?
  • Does your happiness depend on the approval of others?

If you answered yes to any of those questions, it may be time to kick the ‘approval addiction’. To replace draining habits with nurturing habits. (http://thepmsclub.wordpress.com/2008/06/28/do-you-have-an-approval-addiction/)

I have not read this book, but trusted, Christian friends have shared that Approval Addiction by Joyce Meyer is a great book for the healing process.   If you’ve read it, and would like to comment on it, please do so!

I like the thoughts of this counselor:  Do you seek approval from someone who does not have it to give? For whatever reason, do you seek their approval hoping for them to release their approval to you, yet they are not capable of this? 

Remember who is more than capable.  He is more than enough, and will guide you and teach you.  He is the gentle shepherd!

JESUS

“… my grace is sufficient for you, for my POWER is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)  

..for it is God Who works in you to will and act according to His good purpose.. (Phil. 2:13)

Simon or sinner?

Do you relate more to Simon or the sinful woman?

In Luke chapter 7, we read a beautiful story about the “sinful woman” who washed Jesus’ feet with her hair, tears, and poured oil on Jesus’ head.  Some scholars share that the oil in her alabaster box was bought with the money from her prostitution. Oil in those times was costly, a treasure, and saved up for your burial.   

Simon, a religious man, who invited Jesus to his home watched in disgust and chastised the woman.  Jesus reminded Simon that because she has sinned much, she loves much, and rebuked Simon, and received the woman. 

Luke Chapter 7

 (picture from: http://susanbailey.org/tag/mary-anoints-jesus-feet/)

 

 

 

 

 

44Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.”

A pastor shared yesterday from Cloverhill Assembly of God, “Which one are you?”  Are you Simon, the learned person, who knows all the scriptures yet has no intimacy with Jesus?  Jesus spoke to Simon and shared that he did not greet him with a kiss, wash his feet, or anoint him with oil as was the custom in those days when you had an honored guest.  Simon could recite all the books of the Old Testament, but he had a hard time following the message. I loved what the pastor shared, “Maybe Jesus spoke to her potential”, whereas the religious people spoke about her sin.  Grace.

Biblical salvation is when we not only believe that Jesus is our Savior, but we also follow Him in an intimate relationship.  Not works, not perfection, but a passionate love relationship.  As you finish reading this post, imagine yourself at the feet of Jesus washing his feet with your hair, your tears of joy and love, and anointing His head with the oil of all your saved up treasures.  Release them to Jesus. 

If the oil was used for burial purposes then we know that shortly after this event Jesus endured the cross.  Oh the sweetness of the oil that lingered on His skin that he must have consumed in His spirit as He walked the road to the cross.  Perhaps as He consumed the perfume, it reminded Him over and over again of His purpose, our sins, His love for us.

I pray you take the time to watch this video of a beautiful song called the Alabaster Box by CeCe Winans, and watch the story played out on the video.  Imagine yourself there. 

 Who are you today? 

Simon the intellectual believer or the  forgiven, following, sinner seeking intimacy with Jesus?   (http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=G5zIOcBiTGg&feature=endscreen)

Reaping and sowing…

Over this weekend, in several areas of my worship and studying God’s Word the verse about reaping and sowing came up.  After the third time, I asked God, “Okay, what about that verse beyond what I know are you trying to share?”

Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Galatians 6:7

Most of us are familiar with the verse in terms of correction, and if you do a search on the words “reap, sow” you find many verses that share this principle. (click the word search if you are interested in some of the many verses in God’s Word) 

God’s mercy and grace…

When we sow seeds, we anticipate a harvest.  I stopped to think of all the good, the honest striving to be more like Jesus, and my love for my children and husband.  I can spend a lot of time telling you all the things I should have done, my mistakes, and linger a long time on thoughts of a withered harvest after sowing.  Honestly… Confession….I think most of us are our worse critics.  We set ourselves up as judge, jury, and sentence ourselves to thoughts of self loathing, or “If I could just…..”.

I’m not talking about honest work.  Work to be more kind, or patient, gentle…

Work to conquer an addiction, restore a relationship…..

I’m talking about the way you view yourself as a person.  If you sow thoughts of unworthiness, you will reap thoughts and actions of self loathing. God would scoop you up in His arms and remind you of His work on the cross, and how VERY, VERY much He loves you.  Will you let Him?  His Word says to love your neighbor, as yourself.  When we begin the healing process of loving ourselves with God’s love, we are more able to love our neighbor, to be more kind, merciful, loving.  How?  Begin here:  God tells us to take EVERY thought under the captivity of the glorious work of Jesus:

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:5

This is hard work.  It means you have to sometimes speak against the very words and actions of those you love the most, and claim who you are in Christ. It also means that we have to learn new ways of thinking.  Perhaps you’ve spent most of your life believing a lie about you, or living in patterns of behaviors to support a dysfunctional thought because it’s what you know, what you are used to.  Is your heart hardened, or numb to God’s love?  Do you know His love passionately, or in rote (routine; a fixed, habitual, or mechanical course of procedure), duty?  Are you trapped in the kind of God love that you are unworthy of His Love, and are willing to just meagerly (deficient in richness) beg for His affection?

Is your heart hardened?

 I said, ‘Plant the good seeds of righteousness, and you will harvest a crop of love. Plow up the hard ground of your hearts, for now is the time to seek the LORD, that he may come and shower righteousness upon you.’Hosea 10:12

Hosea is a chapter about God’s unfailing love to a people who constantly rejected His perfect love.  Oh Jesus, we are your children sowing righteousness, we reap the fruit of unfailing love to plow up the hard ground of our hearts, and we seek you NOW, and know that You desire to shower us with your righteousness!

Allow Jesus to begin to soften your heart to His unfailing love.

( A great book to read is Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers.  It’s a historical fiction about the book of Hosea, and tells a beautiful story of Jesus’ redeeming love for us.)

 

 

 

I’ve got a brand new pair of roller skates…..

It’s just something about a catchy tune and sweet babies……

I hope you can take two minutes to watch this and put a chuckle in your heart, sing along, and giggle!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=341rybZ42vA

Anna

(I put the link with “watch this”, and above.  Once I hit the send button I hope one of them works for you to watch!  If not google in YouTube:  HP Printer Commercial – Evian Babies – Brand New Key – Widescreen 16:9)

Happy Father’s Day!

Sandy (long coat) with her father and sister

What a great song, and a fabulous voice! Thank you so much for sharing this Anna!

My Dad died 29 years ago today (July 26). As I listened to this song with my eyes closed, I remembered something that was very powerful during the time my Dad was dying. He had been in ICU for several days. We were allowed to go in occasionally and we talked to him and told him all the things we wanted him to hear about how much we loved him, what a great Dad he had been, and that we were praying for him.

He had not responded to us in a couple of days, when all of a sudden he mustered the energy to quietly but clearly say,

“Pray for heaven.”

As I listened to this song I envisioned my Dad visualizing the Soul Train and as having a strong desire to “catch the next ride!” He fought a good fight, but when the time was right, he took that heavenly ride.

To this day, I draw on my father’s wisdom. He was a wonderful father! I only hope and pray that I’m having the same impact and influence in my own childrens’ lives.

Love,

Sandy

Yesterday God orchestrated an early Father’s Day! As I remembered my father’s singing, my friend Sandy shared that yesterday was the anniversary of her father’s passing.  When she received the post update, only God could orchestrate the two coming to gether.  God wanted to hug Sandy.  He hugged me too.  Also, later that day we both met up with a friend who announced that yesterday was her father’s birthday.  I received another email from a dear friend whose father is not doing well and has serious health issues.  She asked me to pray for him.  Yet another friend whose daddy passed recently is struggling and desires a huge hug from her daddy. 

Father’s Day…

I would love to hear your favorite memory of your daddy!  Please share in comments and let’s have an early Father’s Day together!

Jesus, we thank you for our earthly fathers.  Thank you that YOU are our perfect heavenly father.  If we only but ask for you to be our daddy, our perfect father, you will accept us just as we are.  I pray that you arrest us with your grace, and that anyone reading this will know your love in a new and refreshing way.  Lord, Jesus, we

PRAY FOR HEAVEN

TO BE IN THE HEARTS OF YOUR CHILDREN!

“‘I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters,’ says the Lord Almighty.” (2 Corinthians 6:17-18)

Soul Train To Glory

Click link above and take a ride on the Soul Train to Glory! ( words written by my daddy – Tom Lloyd & Vocals by Jimmie Davis)

Sandy liked this one...Laughing with her father
Sandy liked this one…Laughing with her father

 

 

Soul Train To Glory written by Tom Lloyd (my daddy)

Soul Train To Glory

If you click on link above the song should play! I encourage you to read the post first and think about our hope –  heaven!  I pray you dance with me this side of heaven in anticipation of that hope, and dream of our walks with Jesus on the other side, where we will one day see him face to face!  The Bible says that we will see Him in “just a little while”.  (Hebrews 10:37) Take that hurt or struggle and wrap it up in this knowledge.  Take this knowledge and share His love with others.

My father is an excellent song writer, and in his younger years pursued his passion for music.  He made a connection with Governor Jimmie Davis from Louisiana who was the original artist of the famous song, “You are My Sunshine”.  Mr. Davis recorded my dad’s song Soul Train To Glory, and was the cover song for one of Mr. Davis’ albums. 

One of my fondest memories is listening to my father sing.  I can vividly remember him singing at events and being so honored and amazed!  I would sing every line with him!    My sister-in-law, Marie, lost her father a few years back, and his passion was collecting trains.  He had a garage set up with a train village.  We would always enjoy him sharing his love for trains.  When he passed away this song was played as the casket was taken out of the service by the pall bearers. The attending pastor shared a wonderful message of salvation and the glory of getting on board while you can!  The joy was felt in the midst of loss. 

Heaven is our hope!

Sunset after the rain, by Monica

 

If we are being transformed glory to glory by Jesus’ work in us just imagine the GLORY that awaits us!!!!

And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.  (2 Corinthians 3:18)

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him”– (I Corinthians 2:9)

His grace truly is amazing!

 

Turn your eyes upon Jesus…..

I pray you feel the living Spirit working wherever you are reading this.  We are all connected by His Spirit.  When I was writing about keeping your eyes on Jesus, and the ministry of the New Covenant an old familiar hymn came to mind:

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

JESUS – the New Covenant – we gaze upon Him, and we are being transformed by Him from glory to glory!

My father commented on the blog with lyrics from the song:  ” Turn your eyes upon Jesus.  LOOK FULL in His wonderful face.  And, the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.”

My dear friend shared that she feels the moment she takes her eyes off of Jesus, and focuses  more on the problem.

Oh Jesus, may we look fully into your wonderful face boldly (like Paul shared in 2 Corinthians), and with confidence.  Then, the things of earth will grow dim, and the light of your glory and grace will transform us, glory to glory.

Hillsong:  Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0jpHtsSEQo

Wonderful, short clip of Hillsong singing Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus on youtube.  Enjoy!