This post is dedicated to our beautiful Pop and Kaye Vickers. We love you.

My mom and I have been working on her end-of-life care. I was sitting with her, helping her at the computer, when she asked if we could work on things. “I think it’s time.” was her lead-in. We’ve been checking off her list through tears, laughter, and appointments. One appointment was with Pop Vickers. He has been our pastor and friend for years. He married Victoria and Spencer, ministered to my parents and our whole family through the years, and provided a service for my dad’s going home. As we sat and described future events, he shared a message from the 23rd Psalm emphasizing, “The Lord is my shepherd.” We have an individual and personal relationship with God. We can say He is my shepherd.

I think about my role as a parent. We have 3 children, and each can say, “That’s my mom, or “That’s my dad.” Sometimes we come together collectively to celebrate as a family, and sometimes a child will want to talk privately to us–they want individual attention. So it is in our faith. We collectively worship the same Father, and we can individually spend time with Him to seek and understand.

For the last few weeks, I’ve been seeking Him to understand this 57-year-old body that can’t seem to figure out menopause, job responsibilities, and the gripping understanding of how life will be without my mom. As we sort through pictures from the past, you can’t help but wonder, question, and reflect.

I began to listen to a message from a famous leader in the faith on the 23rd Psalm. The title was captivating, yet I did not know he would speak from the same passage as Pop. Adding to the closeness of our personal shepherd, I learn more about His ability to “make us rest” and “prepare us a table” with just Him in front of our enemies. I don’t really have enemies. I have associates that may not call me and invite me to the party and family members whom I might rub the wrong way, but enemies? Not that I’m aware of. My enemies are the thoughts I invite that do not come from my shepherd. Thoughts of despair, insecurities, and sadness. These emotions are a part of the human experience. Jesus felt emotions. It is how we interact and live our lives with the thoughts and feelings we experience. Do we give them a seat at the table our shepherd has prepared for us? Do I allow them to consume me, define men, and destroy me?

My recent health concerns came to a head, and my shepherd made me rest. There was no possible way for me to not rest, so I did. In the resting, I drew closer to Him. It is all still there. The circumstances, the upcoming decisions to be made, and the daily responsibilities. I desire to sit at the table and commune with my shepherd. Slow down. Rest. To know He has me like a shepherd would. He leaves the 99.

“What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them gets lost, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountain and go in search of the one that is lost? Matthew 18:12

Questions to consider and talk over.

1. What are some everyday experiences families face when caring for a loved one at the end of their life?

2. How can faith help individuals cope with difficult life transitions?

3. How do you manage stress and anxiety when dealing with significant life changes?

4. How can we prioritize self-care while balancing the responsibilities of daily life?

5. Are there any practical steps we can take to deepen our personal relationship with our shepherd?

I hope you can listen to this song and worship. No matter what you are doing just play it and let it sink in.