I’m so intrigued by our human desire to connect and belong. Regardless of your perspective as an introvert or an extrovert, we all have, in some way, a desire or need to belong. In this desire, we can stray from the beaten path of what constitutes a healthy connection, often marked by competition, comparison, jealousy, loneliness, and faulty beliefs about ourselves and others.

Ephesians 1:3-6 and 15-18 tell us that God chose us before the foundation of the world and that we belong to Him.

It’s hard to imagine what this looks like and feels like, especially when those feelings and thoughts of rejection occur on this side of heaven. How do we embrace this belonging when we have been rejected through serious human experiences like being fired or let go, not invited to participate, or the experience of a divorce?

I close my eyes and visualize Jesus on the cross. The ultimate rejection. There were some of his followers and his mother at the cross, weeping and praying for him, and caring for his body after his death. We will never experience this type of rejection in our lifetime. However, there are those in some countries who would be imprisoned for their faith or face death.

I think where we sometimes miss the mark is that we equate belonging to being worthy of the belonging. I have to be or do something extraordinary to impress God so that He will accept me, when He clearly states that He chose us, loves us unconditionally, and desires to “lavish His love on us.” (1 John 3:1) We take human opinions of us, whether spoken to us or imagined, and begin to question our worth and our place with God. Does He think this way of me? It’s a constant struggle, as we often find ourselves caught in the web of comparison, measuring our value against others. I’ve heard it said often that our faith and way of living will be the greatest testimony to lead others to His love. However, what happens when we “misrepresent?” Careful. We can spiral downward, losing sight of who we truly belong to and forgetting the deep, abiding love that God has for each of us. The world will reveal our faults, pointing fingers and magnifying our missteps, but God will always lavish us with His love and gently show us a different way—teaching us, guiding us, and comforting us in our moments of doubt and insecurity. I’ve been on both sides of this. I’ve been the judge, scrutinizing others through my flawed lens, and I’ve been judged, feeling the weight of scrutiny from those around me. Yet, through these experiences, I have come to understand that our true worth is not based on these fleeting judgments, but rather on the everlasting love that God has for us, reminding us that we are precious in His sight and that our place in His family is secure, no matter what the world may say.

I honestly can not comprehend this type of love and belonging. In my mind, I can reason through the passages, but living this out day-to-day takes a feeding of the soul that can only come from Him. I can’t do this alone. Think of a baby who can’t feed themselves. They are dependent on you to provide the nourishment, the time to sit, and place them in the proper position in a highchair, and the spoonful-by-spoonful nourishment you would provide with each bite. What if we approached God in that way? In our alone time, we don’t come with an agenda of “if I do this, then God will do that…” What if we considered our time with Him as a “leaning back?”

I pray that as we start this new year, we realize who we belong to, and lean back so we can be nourished in His love.