Counting our blessings and practicing gratitude can give rise to joy and connection. We all have seen the benefits of a pause and noticing. We journal, pray, and offer thanks. In the morning, I listen to the Pray as you go app. On January 29, the question was asked,

“Ask God to show you a moment this week when you gave or received the most love. When were you most fully yourself, the person God created you to be?”

I usually can meditate on many things that would answer this question. I think what threw me was “fully yourself” and “the most love”. Am I fully myself when I love? Have I experienced this love from others such that I’m fully known and still loved unconditionally?

I wanted to go beyond my gratitude journal to a deeper sense of self.

The next day my daughters prepared an anniversary dinner for us. We are celebrating 33 years. We dressed up, sat around a table with conversation and laughter, and played Old Maid with my 5 year old grand-daughter. Place cards for our seating, bakery ordered chocolate cake, my son-in-law’s cooking, and a toddler singing “Happy Birthday” (Why not let him believe it’s his birthday?) brought a visualization of “fully known” and “the most love”. At one point, I was in the bathroom and when I opened the door my grandson followed me in and shut the door. He played “where’d he go?” over and over again with me using the door mirror. He would step back from the mirror and ask “where’d he go?” and then jump in front of the mirror and shout “there he is!” Every single time was like the first time and he would give a big belly laugh. I played that game for as long as he wanted. Pausing. Laughing. Noticing great love and joy.

Social media is filled with moments like these. My dinner was my joy, my love, my spiritual experience of being loved by my family. What’s the big deal? For me, the deal was understanding the answer to the question I pondered the day before. Caring for the soul in such a way that I’m curious and willing to dig deeper so that occurrences do not become mundane or expected. I want to be surprised by joy every single time.

My marriage is a testimony of grace, love, and forgiveness. After 33 years, we have stories to share of overcoming and still working on our love. My mom spoke life into our marriage so sweetly. I was sitting with her, and she said to me, “You and Parish are friends.” Despite all we’ve been through, she noticed our friendship and willingness to connect and love. Thank you mom for noticing the positive and speaking that to me. Oh, how amazing it would be to live our lives in such a way that we notice and speak life into others and ourselves. See the love. We can notice so many negatives. How can we address concerns while also seeing and speaking love?

My dear friend has a picture of her gathering with her son on social media. She is wearing a warm coat that he gave her as a Christmas gift. In a meeting at work, she shared how truly wonderful the gathering was for her–“the most love” experience. Seeing her smile and the warm coat wrapped around her brings insight to being “fully known”. Without saying it all, I see her and the love she is experiencing.

I pray the days ahead you experience love in such a way that you are fully known. I will never doubt God’s love for me. He knows me better than I know myself. So thankful. That’s a space I can show up and feel so much love and grace. I want to show up to those spaces and know He will nurture my soul work and reveal Himself in such a personal way.

Psalm 139