The Garden of Gethsemane –the night before Jesus was to face the cross was discussed in a sermon that I listened to by John Piper. I laid in bed with Iphone on my chest listening to this pastor ask what we would do the night before a tortured, cruel death?  Jesus prayed and spoke to his disciples about faith, peace, and joy.  He wanted his beloved children to know the faith, peace, and joy of Him, and not what the world has to offer. Oh how confused they were as Jesus told them He was leaving them, but He would send a helper –the comforter, the Holy Spirit to guide them, and show them truth.  Up until that moment they were all in for the Christianity sign up.  They saw benefits of miracles, healing, prosperity and popularity–Jesus was making things better!  Are we Christians today because we want better marriages, better relationships, better jobs, better parenting? Or do we follow Him all the way to the cross, dying, sacrificing, and if we never see better this side of heaven we would revel in faith, peace, and joy beyond what the world has to offer?

Two wonderful things happened to me over the past few days.  The John Piper sermon made me realize how far I am from following Jesus as Lord and Savior in the purest sense of the following.  The second thing was worship on Sunday. Two songs moved me.  The one I copied the lyrics after this post.  Oh Jesus, in my selfishness, You show me grace!  Maybe folks around me are frustrated but Jesus you will show me grace and teach me.

The other song is by Deluge, called Worshiping You.

“I’m gonna worship you forever, I’m gonna worship you.”

It’s sung over and over with a magnificent build of harmony and music. I don’t think my arms could reach far enough.  I wanted to reach inside the very portals of heaven and touch the hem of His garment.  My tears flooding out wanted to wash His feet. My movement wanted to dance before Him in gladness of being His child.  In that moment, that I did not want to end, I kept seeing myself as His Child.  I was not a social worker, a student, a mother, a daughter, a wife, a community helper, a citizen of earth, a sister, a volunteer worker…….I simply was His.  His child with no regrets, no pain, no anguish, no trying to rationalize or beg for love or understanding.  Oh Jesus I cried in my soul –that day will be glorious, when I see you face to face and I can shed this Earth!  The music stops. You always wish they would play one more stanza.  What’s the rush?!  This side of heaven it always stops because we have to go to the next item.  Can you imagine a day when we will worship Him for ever and the music never stops?

Aaron Shust – My Hope Is In You

I wait for You and my soul finds rest
In my selfishness, You show me grace 
I worship You and my heart cries Glory
Hallelujah, Father You’re here!

Chorus:
I will wait on You
You are my refuge
I will wait on You
You are my refuge