And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is.

Ephesians 3:18

Some versions say “strength”.  And may you have the strength to understand God’s love for you.

I love Jesus.  I know this verse.  The trouble this side of heaven is truly grasping God’s love for me.  After a series of events, the word “power” and “strength” became neon signs within the verse.  I can’t understand this on my own.  No amount of anything I try as a human will create this life changing love within my soul.

I’m not talking about salvation.  I’m asking us to look deep, deep, deep into the crevice of our soul that we share with no one.  It’s your spot that only Jesus knows and perhaps you can’t even describe it or talk about it, but Jesus knows it.  He has been trying to get to that spot for years because He knows that if you acknowledge and work towards healing and bring this crevice into the vast open spaces, you will finally be set free from its bondage.

Awful nights.

The ones you are wide awake talking to God while the house is sleeping.  You are crying out to God and wonder  “How did I get here?”  The nights that seem hopeless, and you wrestle with the enemy trying hard to convince you that you are not worthy, nor will you ever be enough–you are less than.

Waking up, I share my heart with my husband.  He began to share, unknowingly, about my verse that inspired me.  He shared his “spot” and said, “Anna, sometimes, you truly just have to go on faith in God’s Word–trust His Word.” I know that’s simple but the timing was perfect.  It’s like the time a small child comes up to you with a simple word or sentence that changes your perspective, and you ask, “How did that kid know I needed that?”

When times are good and we are busy, we don’t know the depths of this despair, but as humans we all face those nights in which we question God’s love for us.  When that night comes pray for power and strength to understand His love and be still.  Joy comes in the morning.  Wrestle, pray, and have faith in God’s Word.  He loves you.

Deeply.