My husband is cutting up cabbage to make sauerkraut. We will ferment the cabbage for about 4-5 weeks, put them in canning jars, and share with friends and family. I decided to sit and supervise while writing and talking to him about my new book, Waymaker, by Ann VosKamp.

One morning, I went to the beach alone to watch the sunrise. Parish was still sleeping. I was praying and talking to God, when I felt Him ask me a question. “Anna, why do you think you stick around and believe in relationships–even the broken ones?”

I answered from my knowledge gained from my book. I smile, and say, “Hesed, Lord.”

This type of love expressed by God to us pours into our lives so we can love.

“Because all trauma is about detachment–detachment and loss of connection from our people, our bodies, our souls, our Maker–what saves and heals us is attachment–attachment to our people, our bodies, our souls, and our God.” (p. 43)

This attachment is rooted in hesed–God IS love.

Hesed, found some 250 times in the Old Testament, expresses an essential part of God’s character. When God appeared to Moses to give the Law a second time, He described Himself as “abounding in” or “filled with” hesed, which is translated “love and faithfulness,” “unfailing love,” “faithful love,” “steadfast love,” and “loyal love,” depending on the Bible version (Exodus 34:6–7). The core idea of this term communicates loyalty or faithfulness within a relationship. Thus, hesed is closely related to God’s covenant with His people, Israel. As it relates to the concept of love, hesed expresses God’s faithfulness to His people. (https://www.gotquestions.org/meaning-of-hesed.html)

As I read on in the book, Parish and I laugh at the discussion of Annie’s Song by John Denver. The pastor at Ann’s wedding noted that John eventually divorced his Annie. Can another person fill up your senses? I adore a good love song, and Annie’s Song is one of them. How we listen and take it all in is what matters. Only God, in his perfect love, can fill up my senses, yet, when I do this I can be in relationship with others not expecting them to fill me or complete me. We both agreed that it’s hard and true at the same time. A daily practice.

“Love is more than an emotion; love is commitment set in motion.” (p. 53)

Early in the week, we walked on the pier. As we were walking back to the house, Parish said, “Look up! Do you see it?” It was our one star. That’s a great, long story that’s been a comfort through the years and a song written. My book the next morning discussed the questioning we have in relationships and Ann’s grandmother gave her sound advice and she wrote, “You only have to see one star in your night sky to see your way home.” (p. 53)

This way of love is universal. I get teary eyed when I read the song, “Hush little baby, don’t say a word.” She was remembering and rocking herself. That’s the song I sang to my girls to get them to sleep at night. I remember this love even though my baby days as a mom are over. The love that anchors a child and creates attachment. Ultimately, they grow. I cry and pray that my girls will know hesed love from their heavenly Father. A parent’s love is endearing and imperfect. You can spend a lot of hours trying to reconcile things in your childhood when there is a beautiful life ahead of you and the deepening love that heals and attaches–hesed.

I wonder if you’ll read this later in life. If you are here. I love you. God loves you deeply. He (hesed) loves you.