I recently attended a workshop on attachment presented by The Circle of Security. Our workshop consisted of learning about the importance of attachment in children and feelings of security within trusted relationships. Whether we are needing a safe haven to be comforted, or the courage to take risks, all of us need a sense of belonging and someone to call “homebase”. Obviously it’s seriously important in babies and younger children, but we never “grow up” and out of needing this sense of belonging and security.
You will notice on the circle that “delight in me” is needed in order to explore and take risks, and, when we return to homebase, we need comfort when things just don’t go as well as we had hoped.
As a parent, do your children know you “delight in them”? How do you show this delight? Do they feel they are a burden, annoying, or in the way?
I was amazed how God brought scriptures and messages after this workshop on how He delights in us. I began to think of all the times I faced simple challenges to great risks, and He was there to cheer me on and comfort me. I also thought of the times I fell to my knees in prayer and needed comfort when I failed, or felt insecure and He was there.
God wired us to be in relationship with Him. He truly delights in us.
The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
Do you see the “circle of security” within this verse?
Jesus tenderly loves us.
When we grasp this love and its eternal security, amazing change happens in our minds.
I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. Hosea 2:19
Our minds are filled with life experiences from our past, our current situation, and thoughts about our future. We have days in which we are ready to take on the world, and we have days in which we need to find comfort in the arms of the One who perfectly delights in us.
In Ephesians Chapter 6, God reminds us that “our strength must come from the Lord’s mighty power within you.” (verse 10) Every day when we wake up or go to bed at night we think on this “circle of security”, and we put on the armor of God. Verse fourteen tells us that we will need the strong belt of truth (His Word) and the breastplate of God’s approval. There is more to the armor, but my soul stopped there on the word “approval”. I was in the Living Bible translation. I imagined facing the world with my mind and body protected by God’s approval–HE DELIGHTS IN ME.
If God created us for relationship, and He knows we need His truth and guidance, imperfection and failure will always be a part of my daily life; yet, HE DELIGHTS IN ME.
As you look at the circle again–
imagine those hands being the hands of God. Always believe that He is BIGGER, STRONGER, AND WISER, AND KIND. He desires to protect you, comfort you, organize your feelings and thoughts with HIS TRUTH, and, most importantly, He delights in you! He has great plans for you (Jeremiah 29:11), and those plans are underpinned by His support and delight in you.
We long for family members or our spouse to fulfill this, and God has placed those people in our lives to provide a circle of security. We would not survive this world without trusted human connection and relationships. It’s God’s desire to use His people to provide for others. As much as we long for these connections in others, God is the only perfect source of security and perfect love. Remember His love when someone fails you. As He delights in us, we, also, delight in Him.
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4
This great exchange gives us the strength to face the world, extend mercy and grace to those who hurt us, and provides the courage to move past our mistakes and try again.
Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the LORD holds them by the hand. Psalm 37:24
When your thoughts or someone tells you a lie, remember the belt of truth (God’s Word), and the breastplate of approval. Think more on His truth and approval and less on your feelings of anger, rejection, or self-loathing. Talk more about the details of God’s love for you, and His delight in you, and less on the details of the mistake and the wrong that was done.
Run to His arms and find delight!
God–our exceeding joy!
“Then I will go to the altar of God, to God my exceeding joy.” Psalm 43:4
For more information on Circle of Security as a parent or professional in the field of counseling and supporting families click on link embedded in “Circle of Security” and watch this video: