If you really listen, you can often understand the meaning behind the words or conversation. Dr. John Gottman discovered four negative behaviors, or “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse,” that spell disaster for any relationship. Learn what they are and how to avoid them.

Dr. Gottman’s Four Horsemen:

Stonewalling

Defensiveness

Criticism

Contempt

I was reminded of the power of a good conversation after revisiting Celeste Headlee’s TED talk on how to have a better conversation.

I find through all of these resources the key is listening.

Can I listen without judgment of your character?

Can I listen without taking it personally, but seeking to understand your needs.

Can I listen with an open heart and willingness to change?

Can I listen without formulating my response and waiting to respond?

Can I seek to listen through open-ended questions to gather more information.

Enjoy the resources! A great reminder for me today as I work toward becoming a better listener and communicator. I also would encourage you to seek out Gottman’s antidotes within the link shared above and the Gottman method.