Lisa Bevere shared through an interview with Joyce Meyer that she prayed for God to excavate her heart.  She laughed, and said she wanted to take that prayer back when the tough times came, thinking it would look more like landscaping her heart.  Lord, just accessorize my life, please don’t excavate–that’s too painful and hard!

So true.  Don’t we often want to figure out how to stay the same but feel better while doing it?

God reminded me of another message I heard and this verse–

And this is the secret: Christ lives in you. This gives you assurance of sharing his glory.  Colossians 1:27

When you ask Jesus to live within you–your life, your circumstances, your very being, He takes up residence.  He is in you.  And, once this exchange takes place, He begins the excavation on a willing soul.  Little by little he plants, digs, prunes, and chisels away all that worldly stuff and junk so that HE can be seen–His glory in you.

It’s not you that adds to yourself to become more like Christ, it is God working in you to show what is ALREADY THERE!  On a bad day, Jesus did not leave you.  He is there, in you, doing a major work.  Michelangelo saw David within the stone:

He is quoted as saying, “In every block of marble I see a statue as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect in attitude and action. I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it.”

So many things imprison us, and Jesus sees your greatest potential and most beautiful self!  He will put you in situations and circumstances to reveal this beauty and potential!

I could talk about so many areas of excavation, but there is one particular area that I felt led to focus on–intimacy in marriage.

Over the years, I’ve seen an interesting pattern in a Christian woman’s life.  Through counseling and conversations with women, teenagers, men, and my own work, I’ve seen this pattern or timeline:

A pulling away from God’s best as a teenager and young adult (although you know His Word and what He says about intimacy and purity) or a trauma event in the area of intimacy that causes pain and wounding

A struggle within the pulling away and circumstances that cause deep wounds and worldly habits–confusion

Intimacy struggles in marriage because of the wounding and difficulty shedding habits
That is the Reader’s Digest version.  I had a beautiful woman of God who spoke into my life because she was willing to be vulnerable, and share her life story in this area.  It hurts.  It’s painful.  And, only a miracle producing God can heal.

What if we asked God to excavate in this area?  It means an overhaul of understanding God’s plan for intimacy in marriage and His best for us in our thought world, what we watch and see on media, how we approach our spouse, and truly understanding what God planned years ago for women and men to experience in a Godly marriage.

If you’ve spent years approaching intimacy based on the world’s view, it will be hard to shift.  That’s okay!  Embrace the journey with a new lens and approach.  God’s way.  God excavate and restore.  Allow Him to chisel away all the junk to reveal the beautiful marriage He desires for you.

The enemy would love for you to feel isolated and alone in this area.  Let’s be honest, no one feels comfortable talking about intimacy, although many Christian writers have taken the bold step to do so.  Thank God for them!  I love vulnerable, open people!  You are not alone.  Every crazy, angry, silly, and frustrated thought you’ve experienced in this area is used over and over again by the enemy.  His tricks are old, but his devices and stumbling blocks are unique to the generation we are living in.  For example, media, or “friends with benefits”, or….you can name them if you’ve lived long enough to see our world changing….  Adam and Eve–the first couple–were deceived and forever changed by the enemy, and we must know that we are no different, or special to escape the deceiver.  We need God to excavate.

How do you move forward?

Be honest with yourself and spouse and pray for an excavation from God!  Know it will cost you something and it will be hard.  Be patient for God to do the work, and accept the hard times.  A chisel can hurt, but the beauty is worth it.

Talk to a TRUSTED Christian mentor.

Consider Christian Counseling as an individual or couple, or both.

Consider a Bible Study that brings you and your spouse together on this topic.

Some Resources:

A list of resources from a Christian Book Store Website:


The book Love and Respect comes highly recommended:

If you are Single:

Every Young Man’s Battle (for young men)


And The Bride Wore White (for young women) by Dannah Gresh

And the Bride Wore White

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