You can’t do the work for someone. You just can’t. If you’ve taken the Enneagram inventory you know a number 2 with a wing of 8 is probably the world’s best at trying to fix everything. A helper/challenger. Please help my family! 🙂 I know from professional learning, years of therapy, and life experiences that one can take helping too far; yet, here I am in this spot again. My mom shared with me a quote years ago to help me sustain and survive the teenage years, college, new jobs, marriage, and pretty much any life event or transition.
Bloom where you are planted.
Sometimes our roots are planted in a place that seems impossible to grow or bloom. Sometimes you see a loved one hurting and you want to go dig up their roots, water them, and put them in a safe place.
My heart is over-aching for anything remotely sad or needing help. Honestly, I cried when I saw a stray cat crying for food in this record-breaking heat. I’ve taken a bee sting and turned it into a swarm of bees chasing me down the hill like Winnie-the-Pooh.
I took a walk the other day and discovered a sunflower trying to grow at a major intersection in my town. Just a few feet away were all the other flowers safe in the yard. How in the world did you think it was a good idea to leave this bunch and stray to the street (Enneagram 8)? Maybe it wasn’t your fault. A bird helped you out by placing the seed there? I stopped and pondered if I should transplant the flower–move it. (Enneagram 2)
In my conversation with the Creator, He reminded me of “bloom where you are planted”. Go with me on this one.
Perhaps for such a time as this the sunflower’s work is here–this intersection. The flower would not bloom or become its best self if someone decided for the sunflower to move back to the bunch. Furthermore, one could hurt, damage, or create a situation in which the sunflower doesn’t bloom because you did all the work and meddling (intrusive or unwarranted interference).
All of this processing took about a minute or less. I said, “Okay sunflower it’s your work!” I moved on. Now, you know, I would have been so frustrated if I walked that way again only for a wheel print to be smashed into the petals, or the plant just didn’t make it, or the town’s sweeper/cutter chopped it down. A few days later, precious sunflower had gone from bud to bloom.
God makes everything beautiful in His time. Ecclesiastes 3:11
His timing drives me crazy. I’m just being very honest. I could quote every scripture on “wait on the Lord” and “be still”, but I’m not. I’m thinking He gets me since He created every cell in my body and has walked with me every day up to this point. I need 1, 2, 3 heal me. And, 4, 5, 6 now you are not sick. And, because we followed the steps there is no turning back. Everyone is happy. We are all done with this mess.
Life is not that way. That faulty thinking doesn’t work in any way of work, systemic change, and especially in human beings.
It’s a life long journey.
Where are you planted? How are your blooms? Our shared journey of learning, becoming, and love can cheer us on and validate the hard.
Do you have a loved one that you are ready to replant, over water, or over fertilize with a bunch of manure? Let it go. Keep walking.
Brene Brown honestly shared that her therapist told her, “It’s not Let Go and Let Brene it’s “Let Go and Let God!” Ha! So true.
Only you in your situation can balance what support and love looks like (healthy boundaries) and when you’ve stepped into unhealthy boundaries. It’s hard. We need each other to gain perspective and talk it out.
On the flip side, if we realize that we can only do our work, we will stop blaming others and wondering when someone else will rescue us. Do your work in community with others who can cheer you on.
I have so many loved ones and friends cheering us on. On one of my bad days, I came home to a note from a dear friend, Melinda. Sunflowers on the card, connections, and God’s Word. I carry it around in my purse as a reminder.