Healing Words

Proverbs 12:18 “Some people make cutting remarks.  But the words of the wise bring healing.”

Sheryl Sandberg is the Chief Operating Officer of Facebook.  I just finished a paper on her leadership style and how she faces the adaptive challenge of women in leadership.  A Harvard graduate has learned more from her experiences in leadership than books and lectures.  Through her years of experience on the job and personally, she has made a remarkable discover about men versus women:

Sheryl Sandberg Facebook, COO

Sandberg says she eventually realized that women, unlike men, encountered tradeoffs between success and likability. The women had internalized self-doubt as a form of self-defense: people don’t like women who boast about their achievements. The solution, she began to think, lay with the women. She blamed them more for their insecurities than she blamed men for their insensitivity or their sexism. (Auletta, 2011, para. 16)

WOW! Blame women, not men?  Those are harsh words in my heart.  However, I believe God is doing a work in my soul and will continue to work in this area for a while.  Instead of getting stuck on the word blame, I desired to understand the meaning of her discovery.  I was drawn to Sandberg for “some reason” and through various research events found her on TED talks.  After reading that aspect of her leadership journey, I realized God was once again sharing with me and women I know that we must stop comparison, self-doubt, and feelings of inferiority and insecurities. STOP! Oh, easier said than done!  I’m walking testimony of that difficulty.  It’s just so comforting to know I’m not the only one.  If the COO of Facebook notices this within herself and grows, and within other women and mentors them, then there is some normalcy in this finding.  Validation.

So what do we do?  At the end of this message I will put the link to the TED talk from Sheryl Sandberg’s thoughts on women in leadership and how to begin to overcome this.

At the beginning of this message I have a simple verse.  I ask: “Why be so mean and cutting to yourself?”  Can we speak healing words into our lives?  Not boastful words or self inflation, but Words from Jesus.  Joyce Meyer  has a great list on her website on who we are in Christ.


Today – listen to your words about yourself and others.  Anytime you begin to speak negative or have negative mean thoughts take note.  Ask God to help you “love your neighbor as yourself”.  Love yourself as Jesus sees you – beautiful, then it’s so much easier to love that neighbor who gets under your skin.  Also, PRACTICE speaking kind words.  Go out of your way to ask questions of others and encourage them. Stop. Listen. Minister kind words.

Sheryl Sandberg:  TED TALK

This lecture is humorous, and worth listening to.  Share it with your daughters!



Auletta, K. (2011). A woman’s place. New Yorker, 87(20), 54.


  1. Whereas transition is agreat word for and in Africa it’s true that fewer women are in leadership regardless of gender parity eg Kenya Supreme Court decision on women representative aclear indication of the challange to change.Transformation and and Transition are inseparable.


    • Godfrey Chimoi,
      You might enjoy Growth = Change post. Your words hit home in regards to change. In order for us to be transformed we must change/transition. Change is very hard because it means giving up, letting go, blindly trusting that God will fulfill His Word in your life despite the darkness that may be around you. I picture your country in my heart and pray.


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