For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7
Let me explain this pattern I caught in myself that had to go!
Mistake or something bad happens.
I personalize the mistake or negative circumstance within my being (who I am).
My self talk has conversations: “There you go again! How stupid!” Sometimes even thoughts of self loathing and fear of failure.
Process the event with a trusted friend or family member, pray, and seek God.
Get better until the next time I’m hurt (start back up at the top) UGH!
In my leadership classes at V.C.U. I’ve discovered the power of conflict, failure, and self-doubt. Self doubt a strength? YES! In the article The 5 Positive Powers of Self Doubt: (Dan Rockwell, blog: Leadershipfreak.wordpress.com):
Fear of making mistakes is healthy when it raises intensity, motivates preparation, and inspires vigilance. It’s unhealthy when it paralyzes you.
The 5 positive powers of healthy self-doubt:
- Motivates preparation. Useful self-doubt doesn’t paralyze it motivates.
- Humbles the heart.
- Opens the mind.
- Invites others in.
- Builds confidence in others. You’re trustworthy if challenges give you pause.
The key is to recognize that fear and self-doubt are not from our Lord! He has given us a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline. Do you see the power, love, and self-discipline of the choices in 1-5? That’s my new pattern! 🙂 So what to do when fear or self-doubt comes? Many successful business coaches will tell you basic steps of get out of your comfort zone, create an action plan, and most importantly — do it anyway. NO EXCUSES! Do the task with the fear. Each time you will become more confident. Remember being afraid of that big two-wheel bike as a child?
We often make excuses and get out of things that make us feel uncomfortable especially if we are being graded or judged in some way. I can tell you straight up some very embarrassing moments of failed attempts or projects that have gone into chaos, in which I was left to humbly pick up the pieces. Now I don’t WANT those moments. I don’t get up and say, “Jesus today, show me how to fail.” Neither do I want to spend the rest of my life in FEAR of failing. It happens. A lot. If you take exciting risks, you will struggle with self-doubt but do it anyway. Ride the fear, make the move, embrace God’s power, love, and be self disciplined to pick up the pieces and try again, and again, and again, and….
I pray I always doubt self, and pause to humbly ask God, “What would you do?” and “Dear God show me every step of the way by giving me your power and love!” Give me the discipline to seek Your will and remove self from the equation.