Every marriage is either moving toward oneness or drifting toward isolation. Our culture’s pattern is a 50/50 relationship, and typically based on merit with affection given when one feels it is deserved. Marriage faces inevitable difficulties and constant adjustments. The person you married many years ago is not the same person. Life happens, and we individually grapple with loss, success, aging, changes, etc…
As my husband and I re-looked at this devotional topic from FamilyLife “A Weekend To Remember”, we shared things that seem insignificant, but were moving us toward isolation. Having that discussion and reading God’s Word together was hard. We recognized that ignoring and stuffing are easier in the short-run, but having the difficult discussions and seeking God in prayer will bring healing in the long-run.
Oneness in marriage involves complete unity with each other. It’s more than a mere mingling of two humans–it’s a tender merger of body, soul, and spirit. Dennis Rainey, Staying Close
I have found after 25 years of marriage, that marriage is the combination of living in a state of forgiveness while working out issues, and holding each other accountable. You can spend the rest of your life being mad. Lets face it. Every day your spouse will do something “wrong” or “irritating” in your eyes. It’s in those moments you have to choose how you will respond. Will you suppress, over analyze, escape, blame, attack, deny, or will you move together toward Jesus and humble yourself before Him?
Marriage is primarily about holiness, not happiness. But our pursuit of holiness will lead to ultimate happiness in the long run when we seek first the kingdom of God.
“There is no perfect spouse to be found; even really good spouses will try our patience, will sin against us, and occasionally may deliberately hurt us. Yet God can do some wonderful things through painful and even horrible circumstances.” ~Sacred Search by Gary Thomas (A GREAT book)
I highly recommend the marriage weekend retreat for couples, “A Weekend To Remember”, if you are needing a great marriage booster! Invest in your marriage!